Life in all its fullness — Kindness
In a world where unkindness often manifests in cruelty, prejudice, and division, the transformative power of kindness becomes even more evident. It builds communities, restores broken relationships, and breathes hope into peoples lives. Rooted in the belief that all people are created in God’s image, kindness invites us to see the value in others, reminding us that “whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).
Kindness is a virtue that has long been celebrated across cultures and faiths, yet it finds a particularly profound expression in the Christian tradition. The Bible repeatedly exhorts believers to “be kind and compassionate to one another” (Ephesians 4:32), presenting kindness not only as a moral obligation but as an outpouring of God’s love. It is through small, selfless acts of generosity, gentleness, and care that we reflect God’s character who demonstrates the ultimate kindness in His sacrificial love for all people.
So what is Kindness?
Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. It is often seen as doing good, and can mean putting other people’s needs before your own. Affection, gentleness, warmth, concern and care are all words that are associated with kindness. Kindness can be expressed in lots of different ways. We see it when people do nice things for each other; when they volunteer or help someone out; when they say a kind word or encourage and include others; and when they give people gifts or act as a good friend.
Kindness is the way in which communities show care for each other and look after each other. Kindness treats people well and can build them up. It sees the value in others and leaves people feeling better about their lives. It can help people to feel like they are cared for and belong, reducing loneliness and isolation.
For centuries kindness has been regarded as a noble characteristic. Whilst some may see kindness as a weakness, it often requires courage and strength. Kindness can make a positive difference in the world, as how we treat others is key to a safe and healthy society.
What is Unkindness?
Unkindness on the other hand is defined as not treating someone very well, or not considering someone else’s feelings. It can either be deliberately harming others, or be caused by selfishness and ignoring the needs of others. Nastiness, cruelty, revenge, spitefulness, rudeness and selfishness are all words associated with being unkind.
It can be saying unkind words or criticising what others are doing, wearing and saying. We see unkindness in bullying, knife crime, racism, prejudice and wars. Unkindness treats people poorly. It can make others feel worthless, excluded or leave them with deep hurts.
The Benefits of Kindness
Most, if not all, of us want to be treated well in life. We want people to be kind to us and we can easily see the benefit that kindness has on those around us. But did you know that kindness is not just good for those who receive it? It is also good for those who are being kind. When we are kind, it can make us happier. Kindness has benefits for everyone. But how?
In one study published by the Journal of Social Psychology, participants aged 18–60 were randomly assigned to perform either acts of kindness, acts of novelty, or no acts on a daily basis for 10 days. Their life satisfaction was measured before and after the 10-day period. As expected, performing acts of kindness or acts of novelty resulted in an increase in life satisfaction.
When we are kind to others through helping out and volunteering we can receive a boost to our confidence and worth. Volunteering can help us to improve our communication and practical skills. It can also help to combat loneliness and help us to make new friends. Knowing we are making a difference helps us to feel good about ourselves and boosts our happiness.
When we are kind it can improve our relationships with friends, family and other people we see in our day-to-day lives. When our relationships are going well we can feel good about ourselves. We feel more loved, accepted, safe and secure, improving our self-esteem and how we see ourselves.
Kindness has been shown to help reduce stress and improve sleep. Doing things for others can help to take our minds off some of our own stresses. Being kind can improve our perspective as we realise that we have something of worth to give and that our contribution matters and makes a difference.
Kindness is about realising that other people matter. This includes our family, friends, peers, community, adults that support us, young people, children, people we see on social media and people we don’t even know. It can involve a kind word, a smile, opening a door, or helping someone out. Kindness can be shown by including others, letting people know we care, being forgiving, or refusing to talk about others behind their back. It can involve our commitment to a cause or raising funds for charity. It can be as simple as giving our time to someone else even though we may have other things we would like to do.
Finally, we also need to learn to be kind to ourselves. It is too easy to be self-critical, to put ourselves down or ignore our own needs. Learning to look after ourselves is critical to our happiness, and is sometimes called self-care. This can include savouring, giving ourselves time to do things we enjoy, or trying something different. It can involve making sure we find time to relax, or avoid things that make us unhappy. In other words we shouldn’t forget ourselves when it comes to kindness.
The exploration of kindness, its benefits, and its challenges, reminds us of its extraordinary ability to uplift both the giver and the receiver, cultivating joy, peace, and a sense of belonging—a glimpse of what life in all its fullness is all about.
Questions to think about on your own or discuss with others around kindness:
How can we be kind to other people?
What are some of the ways we can be kind to ourselves?
Does everyone deserve kindness? Why/why not?
If someone bought you a present you didn’t like, how do you think you would react?
What is the kindest thing you have ever done? How did it make you feel?
Describe a time when someone showed kindness to you. How did it make you feel?
Kindness Experiments to try.
Send someone you know a message or give them a call to say “hi”.
Think about the words or messages you send on social media and make sure they are kind.
Give someone your place in the queue.
Give an unexpected gift to someone.
Be kind to a neighbour anonymously (e.g. a kind note/chocolate bar through their door).
Do something practical to help out at home.
Take time to compliment somebody.
Say hello to everyone you know this week when you see them.
Find time to catch up with someone you don’t always spend much time with or a friend you haven’t seen for a while.
Choose one person you know in your family to be kind to this week. You could visit them, send them a gift, or contact them with some encouraging words.
Write a thank you note to someone — this could be a parent/guardian, a teacher, a youth worker or a friend.
Set an alarm to go off on your phone a couple of times in a day. When it goes off stop what you’re doing to call, text, message or email someone simply to tell them how awesome they are.
Involve someone who is on their own.
Refuse to gossip about someone and walk away from situations where others are being unkind.
Experiments with people you don’t know
Give someone your place in the queue.
Take something you no longer need to a charity shop.
Open a door for someone or let someone pass in front of you.
Say thank you to the bus driver, cashier at a till or someone who does something for you.
Fundraise for a cause you believe in.
Pick up rubbish if you see it on the floor.
Place kind notes in random places.
Experiments you can do for yourself
Buy yourself a treat.
Write down one positive thing about yourself every day for a week.
Have a nice long bath or shower.
If you mess up, be your own best friend and forgive yourself. We all make mistakes.
Take a laughter break — take 5 minutes out of your day to watch a funny clip that makes you laugh.
Write yourself a list of all the things you are good at.
Have a day where you do things you enjoy.
Give yourself permission to say no to requests from others for things you don’t want to do. Within reason — for example, you still need to do your homework etc.
Find a positive phrase to say to yourself or a positive activity to do when you’re feeling down.
Create a booklet, journal, list or poster of ideas of how you could be kind to yourself and then put these ideas into practice over the coming weeks.